But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
