I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
