You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
