Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
