He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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