physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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