That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
