please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
