we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
