My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
