You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
