btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
