How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
