Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
