Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
nutella sex= disaster
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
