The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
