My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
