you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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