he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
