Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
