It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
