I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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