hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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