My hand turned me down
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Can I color on your dick again?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
