i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
