hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
