We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
