so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
