are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had to cum in my sink.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
