you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
