I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
