She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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