Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
