gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
