I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
