Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
