Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
