brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
