margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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