I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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