hotel room ftw
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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