I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
