On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
