Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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