I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
