Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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