Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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