Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
