i may or may not be watching the land before time
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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