I have demons in me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
