I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize