he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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