Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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