There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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