you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You can't special order awesome
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
