It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
