dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
