Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
