I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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