Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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