ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
