you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
