My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
