i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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